i'm stuck here underneath, and you're making it hard to breathe

i think i spent too many years living in a pov student house. Now that I am living the 'life' (so to speak :S) of constant food and clean dishes, I find old habits hard to break. My parents keep beer cups in the house beside the glass cups because I have a few toddler cousins who need the plastic option. Everytime I open the doors to the glasses I automatically grab a beer glass. For some reason, red beer cup just feels like home.
I have this wicked sense of intuition. I think it comes with all the years of raising other peoples children. I can tell if someone is lieing before they even start to speak it. I got this talent along with the eyes in the back of my head after my 5th straight year of nannying. My point is that I think it is ridiculous to try to make yourself 'look better' two weeks after something happened. I am so easy going, and honestly forget half the things people say to me... it is just insulting to try to smooth things that didn't need to be smoothed over. The situation is just more awkward now. In conclusion, I don't pretend to think that you are going to forget everything you say when you are hammered, and you don't pretend that I am stupid enough to buy your stories.
I think that i am also loosing my coping mechanisms. I have been noticing a lot lately that people with ask me a question and I get all panicy because I don't know the answer. Last night, it happened like three times in a row with the same person, and I seriously got overwhelmed. I just have to say it, I don't know the right answer.... who does eh? If you know all the right ones come find me.
Finally, if you see me buying a new bathing suit - stop me. My body is in a bad bad tan line state. I have bathing suit ADD and change my suit every day I go out to the pool. This has resulted in me looking like a big tool naked. I am sure you are all bored by this point....so
gin

or fin even