waiting to exhale

even if you do hold your breath for 5 years, you can exhale

and come out on the other side

i cant trust anymore. i am actually fully broken.

is it sad? i wonder if people would think that was sad? i think its just realistic ... i don' think i am meant to trust that many people .... i am too guarded and sensitive for it .... thats why i keep it all very close.... im not attracted to men anymore, and i've never been attracted to women, so where does that leave me!

asexual!

ha ha ha

its sort of refreshing not to need anybody, or anything

Thoreau had it right all along... rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

the rest is just garbage.... i wonder why i thought i needed him so badly, as if he gave me anything i didn't already possess... he just took and took ttoooook toooook and tooook an d tooookkkkk.... its sort of nice to be able to take from myself.

speaking of.... pottery lessons are half over! i don't know if i should enroll in another session? its so pricey, but i think i really enjoy it, so i guess i must.

i've been thinking i want to do other things too... maybe a jewelery making class? glass blowing? painting ?

i definitly need to join a stitch and bitch. i've been so motivated and prolific with my knitting, and i don't want to let it all drop off when the nice weather comes (which seems to be my regular cycle).

As an aside, i've had a few things i want to do that have been dancing around in my head so if i write them down it has to happen

1) sxsw

2) cochella

3) arctic circle

4) portland

5) nyc

those are my top 5 things to do in the next year or so travel wise ... scotland not making it on there because it is my obvious real number 1 ha ha

well

until tomorrow

fin