day 1

This is the first day of my life.


fin

and so it is

time marches on, and this too shall pass

and at the end of the day

you all were right,

and in this moment...

i am happy

fin

this time.

Sometimes things just make themselves apparent to you in a series of linked, and serendipitous ways.

Sometimes you decide to look into things and someone suggests it, and then the ducks all line up in a row.

Sometimes the things that seemed impossible, and it would never be you, and it would always be out of reach become reality.

It seems hard to believe that it could happen, that i could achieve this.

Sometimes when you don't like what you were given, you can do something about it.

I am beyond blessed, and lucky, and scared, and hopeful, and excited, and nervous.

fin

oh em gee

i am updating you on the movie

devo!

fin

armageddon!

a little know michelle fact: i LOVE end of the world movies.... no matter how bad, i am obsessed... i own a few embarrassing ones ...anyways, people are always shocked to find out i've never seen Armageddon ... well readers

its go time,

i'll be back in 2 hours

fin

ta daaa

I've been taking pottery lessons for the last 10 weeks, and although it started off sort of rough, i've been learning and loving it

here are some of my earlier projects, i'll share more soon

i signed on for another session.... im so into after work activities lately

i'll keep you all posted

fin!

219

I just straightened my hair for the first time in months, it feels good. I decided this was the year to regain myself a little bit, or at least figure out who i am.

I think maybe i started dressing different, and cut off all my hair, and dyed it dark to become unappealing to a certain person(s). But what i think I've realized is that I liked how i dressed, and how my hair looked...

Its time to go blonde, i can feel it.

fin

hesher

i want to see this

this is all

fin

vee day

happy valentines day from teddy

fin

love her madly

i am knitting so much lately! it is so nice to be so productive in that way, between that and my pottery i feel like i need to make sure i have someone in mind before i start a new project. i've been pretty good at gifting most things, but i still have a basket full of knit goods that i should find homes for ... i've started knitting baby hats and donating them to the hospital (they use them for new little babies when they first come out) cuteeeee

as for the pottery ! looks like everyone is getting a mug for their birthday!

i'm watching a documentary narrated by Johnny Depp about the doors right now called, When You're Strange.... its terrifying ! everyone dies when they are 27 in it!!

looks like i have a few more months to become a musical icon, move to paris, get super fat, and then die

so much to do, sooo much

fin

waiting to exhale

even if you do hold your breath for 5 years, you can exhale

and come out on the other side

i cant trust anymore. i am actually fully broken.

is it sad? i wonder if people would think that was sad? i think its just realistic ... i don' think i am meant to trust that many people .... i am too guarded and sensitive for it .... thats why i keep it all very close.... im not attracted to men anymore, and i've never been attracted to women, so where does that leave me!

asexual!

ha ha ha

its sort of refreshing not to need anybody, or anything

Thoreau had it right all along... rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

the rest is just garbage.... i wonder why i thought i needed him so badly, as if he gave me anything i didn't already possess... he just took and took ttoooook toooook and tooook an d tooookkkkk.... its sort of nice to be able to take from myself.

speaking of.... pottery lessons are half over! i don't know if i should enroll in another session? its so pricey, but i think i really enjoy it, so i guess i must.

i've been thinking i want to do other things too... maybe a jewelery making class? glass blowing? painting ?

i definitly need to join a stitch and bitch. i've been so motivated and prolific with my knitting, and i don't want to let it all drop off when the nice weather comes (which seems to be my regular cycle).

As an aside, i've had a few things i want to do that have been dancing around in my head so if i write them down it has to happen

1) sxsw

2) cochella

3) arctic circle

4) portland

5) nyc

those are my top 5 things to do in the next year or so travel wise ... scotland not making it on there because it is my obvious real number 1 ha ha

well

until tomorrow

fin

found out the man i'd die for, he wasn't even concerned

all lauryn hill

all the time

fin

fuckity fuck fuck

rutty rut rut

i like my job

i hate my job

i like my job

i hate mu hjob

ilike myjob

iahte my jiab

iliek hny hoebe

ih ahte my job

il ike my job

mostly i can't think of anything better to do

.... as in if i quit tomorrow morning i would probably be really bored and broke

two things i dislike

i like my job

i like my job

i like my job

i like my job i like my job

i want to take up glass blowing

maybe in the summer when my heart is cold and my feet are hot

fin

shit man

i had by far the worst friday in the world

i really love my job, i actually cannot imagine being anything else other than a nurse .... but for some reason i seek out the type of jobs that are high stress, and full of crazy hormonal women who are angry and spending all their money on private health care ..... i spent all day running around ... ALL DAY. while getting ragged on by stressed out doctors and staff from every direction wanting to get home .... ha ha who works from 7am until 6pm on a friday without taking a drink of water or going pee

but then i went to my pottery lesson and made three mugs!

and now here i am 11:09 pm and anxious with diharea

this is why i need to become a professional potter / knitter / cat woman

and relaaazxxxx

fin