i wear my sunglasses at night

I think i go through sunglasses at an unreasonable rate. I used to pride myself in getting years out of 10 dollar shades - but these days I seem to have a monthly habit.

I have been watching the Wonder Years lately online..... and it makes me nostalgic for my youth. I cannot believe I am turning 25 this year. Luckily Brennan is half a year older, and I get to come to terms with our advanced age vicariously through him - before the blow actually hits me.

I know I have talked in great lengths about getting older lately. How sometimes I look back at the last 5 years and think : oh my god, where did the time go. I think how much time I spent worrying about the small stuff - and how I have learned that you can't sweat the small stuff - and even more importantly I have learned that it is all small stuff.
I feel like a lot of this reminiscing is rooted in my parents renovating my childhood bedroom. As of sunday there is no longer a bed in that room. It is like I am officially out for good - which is realistic since you know, I am entering my late 20s. Just something about those orange walls being covered in some 'mature' colour, and new furniture, replacing my childhood belongings is a little sad. I spent so much time in that room - loving, and losing, and crying, and laughing .... and now it is covered up in taupe, and modern fixtures. I think a lot about my parents. How me getting older - means them getting older. You never worry realistically about your parents not being there anymore - but it could happen. I mean the likelihood of my father dropping dead from a heart attack is slim - but not unquestionable ... I just remember them being younger. Sometimes I will come home for the day and see them. And once you have been away for a while you start to notice things .... their hair is a little greyer... they seem a bit slower...I guess that is realistic for someone entering their 60s. I mean don't get me wrong - they aren't on deaths door or anything - its just that they aren't 35 anymore. Maybe that is the disadvantage of my mother having me at 20. I have vivid memories of her at my age. I know what she was like when she was 25. So seeing her at 45 is just weird I guess. I just cannot even vocalize it. My father is more than 10 years older than my mother - and with him I see it the most. The scary part must be watching a child - a baby you made, grow up. I know from some secondary experience. My good friend, and aunt have had babies in the last five years - and it is unusual to have a physical representation of time. To see a baby become a little person, with feelings, and opinions, and their own secrets and friends.
Time is a funny thing
it always marches on

fin