fuck santa

(this is stolen)




I hate Christmas.
When I make this known, people look at me like I’ve just said “I like to eat babies,
they’re yummy.” Case in point: the other day I was walking through the convocation
mall, and I saw a gigantic Christmas tree being erected. Involuntarily, the left corner
of my mouth turned up in a snarl. Some girl-her chubby rosy cheeks glowing and sweet
knitted scarf flapping-looked aghast at me like I was the cruel and bitter epitome of
Ebenezer Scrooge himself. A young, female, and Jewish Ebenezer Scrooge, that is.

But I really can’t help it. The feeling I had looking at that tree was visceral and
overwhelmingly negative. Why? Because it represents one thing to me: It’s Christmas
time for everyone-like it or not. It represented the myopic and incredibly tedious view
that so many of you have that everyone celebrates Christmas. Or at least, that
everyone must get into “the spirit of the season.” That really, really steams my milk.
I suppose the logic goes that since to a lot of people Christmas isn’t about religion, and
that since it’s “just a time for family” it shouldn’t offend anyone. Wrong-o. I have my
own traditions, my own history, and I have absolutey no desire to have Christmas
shoved at me every moment.

The ironic thing is, I’m not bitter because I don’t get to celebrate it. Since my dad is
a convert to Judaism, every year I’ve done “the Christmas thing” with his family.
Yes, I lived every kid’s dream: twice the presents, twice the holidays! And unlike a lot
of Jews, I have never once wished that my (immediate) family was Christian, that we
had a tree, that I could sing “Oh Holy Night.” Having experienced the richness of my
own tradition, I never felt bereft in any way. To me, Christmas always seemed like
something of a pathetic spectacle compared to Pesach (Passover) which-at least for my
family-involved the retelling of what sometimes seemed half our oral history, a 5 course
meal, and hours of singing, celebrating, and drunken fun, all embellished with traditions
developed over 4,000 years of history. That other Jews would envy Christians at Christmas
time is simply a reflection of their spiritual poverty and lack of education-but that’s another
issue.



fin